Hole in the sky?

My name is Major, and my heart is black and full of hate...



Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Three new Harry Potter books? She might.. she might not.

You Evil Whore.



Let me explain something to you. J.K. Rowling is a billionaire and she has only wrote 7 fucking books. There are more copies of her books in print than the Bible.

So why did she think it was important to go on Oprah and shake shit up and say she "might in 10 years, i have all the plots for three books", or "might not" and that she feels that the series is not over. Of course if she wrote three new Harry Potter books there would be three new movies, merchandising, movies on break.com of people spoiling the endings.. the list goes on.

I suppose if i were J.K. Rowling and i needed a new sparkling 24k gold toilet in which to flush my billionaire turds, i would write a new book. With each subsequent book i would then encrust my new throne with diamonds and rubies, and with the release of the last movie, i would invent gold bacon, eat it, then flush it down my wonderful solid gold with platinum accents shitter with a hen's egg sized ruby for a handle.

Teasing the population of america's youth, (and not so youthful) was not the smartest thing to tell the worlds richest talk show host who also happens to be an overweigh black woman who would like nothing more than her very own solid gold toilet and golden bacon in which to flush. People are disapointed and want another book. I waited in line with my wife at the last two releases, lines miles long, all to find out dumbledore is gay.

I can picture it now. Miss Rowling, sitting at a large banquet table carved out of a single piece of the finest emerald, eating her Foi Gras and ground extinct animal porriage, picking her teeth with the reverse end of a Dodo bird feather she purchased from a museum for such a purpose, musing about making enough money to clone herself so she would know what it would be like to know admiration. Then, at the moment when she has used all her money and has cock-teased america enough into believeing she has written another book, she rides as what can only be described as a Unicorn transformer into her local Books-A-Million and proceeds to defecate on sheets of notebook paper.

3 comments:

  1. Dude, just gotta say this was well written. My face is beet red from laughing. Well done sir

    ReplyDelete
  2. ::HEAD EXPLODES::

    ReplyDelete

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