Hole in the sky?

My name is Major, and my heart is black and full of hate...

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Of Movie Rooms and Brown Blankets: Part Two

Being crazy teenagers came with a firm set of rules...


...All of which did not apply at Gary's house for some reason.

When spending the night at his house, you ran this risk.. which can only be explained in two ways: 1) Something terrible or frightening could happen to you, or 2) Something so inexplicably cool could happen to you. The only middle ground was the Brown Blanket.

He slept with this blanket, and every nubile young thing had slept with it to. It had never been washed. No one had ever asked any questions about said blanket, you just kind of stayed away and hoped that when you came over it was put away or not in a place where you could sit and accidentally touch it some how. Part comforter and part downy-fleece, this blanket harbored more DNA that was available at the Fort Myers Free Clinic. Folded in half and stood on its end, it could resemble a tent in it's rigidity and cardboard like stiffness, yet its downy threadbare appearance made you wonder what was actually used in it's construction. I knew: Fear mostly. That and the tears of Red-headed virgins on the sun coast.

An awkward moment came when it was time to go to sleep.

"Want to sleep in the bed?" Gary would ask nicely.

"No that's okay. Thanks though." I could not keep eye contact.

"Are you sure? You can use the blanket if you want."

I Shook my head. "No that's okay. Thanks, ill take the floor."

He knew fucking well i was not going to accept his offer or The Blanket. I can only compare that blanket to the Baking Soda in your fridge, its been there so long it must have the flavor of everything in the fridge past and present, so you are tempted to taste it and find out. Except i was not willing to taste the blanket, and did not know which fridge it had been in.

Scenario #1
Tyler, Kyle, Myself and Gary were watching hentai in the Movie Room. (Hentai is anime porn) Gary had invited us over because the girls swim team (yes the whole fucking team) was over and he could not stop talking about 15 year old girls with double D tits. We all had other plans but canceled them promptly when hearing our good fortune. We really didn't have a choice in the matter anyways, he was going to keep calling until we showed up and the idea of huge watery tits was a good idea indeed.

We each had taken a random girl from the Fort Myers High swim team into the movie room for some innocent or not so innocent happenings. In the corner i grabbed a blanket from the top of the pile, looked underneath and saw only one more blanket. Gary had The Blanket and was satisfied to know that no one would ever stake claim to it.

Tyler's hand touched the last blanket in the pile at the very same time Kyle's hand did.

Tyler ripped the blanket from Kyle's grasp and yelled at him. Kyle got mad and walked in and out of the room several times in anger while Tyler laughed and played with his Swim Team honey under the stolen blanket. This further enraged Kyle to the point where he locked himself up in Gary;s room, not to come out for the rest of the night, no matter how loud the screams got as Gary threw girl after girl in the jacuzzi and pool until inevitably their tops would come off and everyone would rejoice.

Crazy A, a friend of ours, some time later decided to pick a fight with Tyler. Tyler has a short fuse, and Aaron likes to fight, so it seemed like a good idea at the time. They went outside Brian's golf course house and had a wonderful showdown on the 18th green. During the exchange, they fell on the ground together and it looked like Aaron was laughing while Tyler may have cried or screamed, i could not tell which.

Enter Kyle.

He ran in from the side yard, making quick work of the fairway leading up to the green and kicked Tyler in the ribs so hard i sucked air through my clenched teeth and turned my head away. Again and again i watched him kick Tyler and out of his mouth i heard the phrase I'll never forget:

"That's what you get for taking my FUCKING blanket in the movie room!"

I looked over at Gary and he squealed in delight, rubbing his hands together as if massaging in lotion or oil. He even shook my hand. Five minutes later he left, Kyle and Tyler were friends again, and Crazy A laughed it off taking a dump in the bathroom.

**True Story**

1 comment:

Google Search

Custom Search

Just paying the bills..