Dystopian Sports Movies: Rollerball --> Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe

When this movie (Rollerball) first came out in 1976, Deathrace 2000 was just released, and was critically panned for its graphic nudity, violence, and killing of pedestrians and/or presidents of the united states. David Carradine was going to kill the president with a grenade in his prosthetic hand, which he calls a "hand grenade" on several occasions.

Rollerball is very much like the short story "Rollerball Murder". Corporations own sports organizations and change the rules to make ratings, even if that means killing off other players. This would be the only outcome that would make me watch sports on TV, people getting killed, greedy corporations selling out.

My perfect team would be called The Robokillers, and all my players would be cybernetically enhanced. The coach of our team would be Paul Verhoven, director of the Robocop movies and Starship Troopers. I would have female teammates with loose chainmail clothing fight other females of the opposing teams. With Paul telling everyone what to do, I'm sure he will make sure my team would have tons of unnecessary breasts and violence, like the movie Flesh + Blood.

I first played Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe on Sega Genesis. When i was 12 years old, my father got remarried, and he did not require me to go back to school right away. I had several weeks in a big empty house (river-front mansion is more appropriate) by myself while my parents were at work. I played tons of Sega Gensis and Super NES in this time period, and i had not met any friends yet. That month my dad bought me Secret of Mana for SNES, and Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe for Genesis. At first i never touched Speedball. I opened it, put it in and had no understanding what i was to do at all. I fell hard into Secret of Mana and really never looks back. I wrote Speedball off a pile, and a bad purchase.

I met Mike Hilliard through a mutual friend my freshman year of highschool. I made friends fast, and he was getting over a horrendous leg surgery after being plowed by a car. Not being able to participate in sports, biking, or rollerblading, he was my video game buddy. He had all the newest PC games, and introduced me to Rise of the Triad. He saw the game and asked me about it, and i told him Speedball sucked ass.

That night we stayed up until 2am playing. We yelled at each other, fought, threw the controllers at each other, traded players, upgraded and eventually lost the season and the game restarted. We played for days. he invited his friend over, Jeremy Hilton, and he got into the action. We started a little league and more people joined. Pretty soon i realized it was the only game we were playing with no end in sight. Inevitably, my TV took a dump, and it being a huge 36 inch mirror-topped console television, it was irreplaceable. No one wanted to come over and play speedball on a 15 inch TV. My parents had no intentions of letting me hook up my many game systems to the TV in the living room, so i was stuck. Later i got a new 27 inch Panasonic, but it was too late. Our Speedball 2 team was done.

The game was a sleeper hit, tons of games sold over many systems. The game was re released on a staggering 9 different systems with the Amgia version being the top seller. Better sound and graphics with enhanced game play made that the copy to have. The game was remade several times on Playstaion, cell phones and in the arcade.. but it never really was as good as the original.

I Started Playing Subspace/Continuum Again.. Also, a guy named Matt.

I started playing years ago with my first Non-Macintosh computer. I owned Macs from about 1998 and back, so i guess i started playing around then. I bought the CD rom from Babbages at the Mall. Shortly after i bought the CD and started playing a lot, the severs crashed, VIE went under, and i started playing Ultima Online full time.

The first time i had seen the game i was blown away. This may have been 1996.. Decemberish. Up late at Matt Mateka's* house, Matt, otherwise known in gaming circles as "Gamemaster**", and no I'm no kidding, would pretty much ignore us and play his game of the night for a while, it was Diablo. (a long, long while) Gary had met him somewhere, inadvertently, and that's how i started gaming paper-and-dice. (long story) Side note: I later met up with Matt and we started hanging out midnights at Tilt, the arcade at the Edison Mall whose manager let people in after everything was closed to play tournaments, namely, Soul Caliber.

*This part of the article was edited by it's author on 3/27/2011. Matt has been found, i repeat, Matt has been found.*

Anyways. Staying up late watching Matt play the Beta of Subspace, online no less, and free, i was most certainly floored. He had one of the first sub woofer-speaker combos for a PC i have ever seen and the sound was amazing for a Soundblaster 16 card with none of the finer things in life like dynamic reverb and such. He moved after a while and let me have a turn. I shot people with bouncing bombs, repelled others, became someones turret. Generally it was mass chaos. Anyone who had access to the Internet played this game or had memory of someone that did and bragged about it. The people who had Internet and had not heard of this game were too busy chatting on AOL and making free web pages on Geocities.

A couple years later (i think) Subspace was released to wide critical acclaim, and was available on then new, full install CD roms. I bought my copy and it was instantly rendered useless. All the servers were down and i could not play the game i just bought. Meanwhile, there were still copies on the shelves I'm sure they were selling. Player run servers were the only alternative, and they were free. The old games i loved were gone and in its place shitty hacked together maps on unreliable servers. I stopped playing around this time as did many people.

A few people decided many years ago to re-tool the game and call it Continuum. You could not hack this version, servers were reliable and all my old favorite maps were back. Player counts were and are super high. This was a game that is 2D, requires tons of skill, and is simple enough to play on any computer new or old. I was hooked again. I have played on and off since 2003, and lately i have "discovered" the game again. Please give this game a chance. Trust me.

 *I spell Matt's name wrong on purpose, only because i remember him not liking that at all. I really do miss the guy.*
**Matt - gamemaster, antpile    Gary - Droslow, Twiggy       Major - droz, docdroz, Taija, Tinehaut

Death Star VS Borg

Discuss.

(I think the cube would win, seems to me that it can travel fast, which the death star cannot do.)

Conan! What is best in life!?

Tron Jeremy

The Codex Seraphinianus: First Few Pages

If you don't know what the Codex Seraphinianus is, then please click here right the fuck now. For those who hate to click links in fear of trojan horses or virus threats, stop being a pussy. I'll explain:



The Codex Seraphinianus is a book written and illustrated by the Italian artist, architect and industrial designer Luigi Serafini during thirty months, from 1976 to 1978.^[1] The book is approximately 360 pages long (depending on edition), and appears to be a visual encyclopedia of an unknown world, written in one of its languages, a thus-far undeciphered alphabetic writing.

Click the pictures below to enlarge. Comment and i'll post some more otherwise I'm not going to bother.

Sorry... but I'm really not at all. Conan says sorry to no one! CROM!

Had to take care of some stuff at home. My son had some medical problems but things seem to be on the up-and-up now so i think i'll meander my way back into posting a few times a week and see how it goes. Miss me?

I have some backlogged posts I'm going to dump today and get caught up. Bear with me.

While i was gone Morgan's posts took the number one spot, so it's my job to take them away. The game is afoot!

Sexy Robot Saturday

Your happy-ending is only a thirty minute charge away.




Now if they can reprogram her to remove that dissatisfied look on her face.

Do Sex Dolls Dream of Inflatable... A Blade Runner Erotic Fan Fiction Reviewed

I'll make this clear now, I did not go around looking for an Erotic Fan Fiction of Blade Runner, but i was looking for something interesting to write this morning, as a back up when i can't find great pictures of bacon or deloreans, i go on a website called Literotica, and start clicking around. It's an erotic stories hosting site that is about 15 years old, and boasts about half a million stories. It's where i found the XXX Xanth stories long ago.

This story is by IrmaCerrutti, and is based in the Blade Runner universe. I'm obviously a big fan, so when i saw the title: "Do Sex Dolls Dream of Inflatable...", I almost shit my pants in pure excitment. lets look at some of my favorite exerpts from part 1 below.

"I laughed in surprise and delight and settled onto the pink heart shaped bed, writhing in anticipation of further ecstasy. I gazed lovingly at Lesley's full breasts, her gorgeous skin, her huge cock."

Wait what! WHAT. There must be some mistake. Lets take another look here...

"I gazed again at her huge cock. "Hm, interesting," I purred, "where did that come from I wonder?" I giggled and licked my lips, completely past caring about such an unexpected phenomenon."

Mother fucker. I knew it. I knew this story was too good to be true. Son of a bitch. Well, lets scroll down and give it another chance here. Let's goto the end..

"Her spunk was hot and tasted of cream and sugar. I have a very sweet tooth, so I sucked away and licked up and down her huge length."

Oh that is fucking it. Why on god's green earth would anyone write this pile of shit. I guess it would be a good time to explain that the main characters name in the story is Irma, the authors name. Alot of erotic fan fiction authors put themselves in their stories to 'live out' their fantasy, and having people read their fantasy completes that thought process.. i'm guessing.

I had no idea this story would be of transgender/homosexual nature. Most stories are crazy like this, and to show everyone the general idea, i picked this fan fiction from about 10 fucking transgender robot sex stories, that i read not knowing, in a row.

Click here if you want to be ashamed, embaressed, frightened.. or just want to read this hot mess.

Father's Blade

He moved his head against the straw, moving his face from a less itchy position.
.
The axe his father gave him reflected the light from three candles on the mantle place, throwing light into his face and illuminating his blue eyes. Those eyes fell next to him as they caught the reflection of steel.
.
He struggled to free his left hand to run his slender fingers across the blade of the axe that lay in his straw bedding with him. The engravings of people centuries past, staring at him, fighting, running, living.
.
Thick wool blankets made his legs sweaty so he moved them off to expose the rest the axe. The axe was as familiar to him as anything could be. His tanned knee pushed the hilt of the ax to the side and he propped it up next to him so he could get a better look. A small keyhole made for decoration had been etched into the hilt. The black abyss that lied within; how many times had he scratched his fingernail in that hole, probing the depths of the keyhole wondering why it was there? Too many, so it seemed.
.
Just above the keyhole on the engraving was a man, holding his middle finger to his lips as if to silence him. Did this man in the axe have a secret that he did not want anyone to know? The engraving stared at the young man, never moving. The pupils on the hand carved drawing were as telling as the metal it had been emblazoned on; cold, stone-like.
.
Three fingers-width above the keyhole and in between the secretive man was another such keyhole, smaller, with less detail. Inside the keyhole were three small studs protruding from the inside. He had in the past used his bedding to probe the studs and try to depress them as if they were switches to some unknown secret the man was keeping. Eyes darting back to the man with his finger to his lips, he flipped the large, wide blade over and inspected the other side tirelessly, as if he had never done so before.
.
Three nude women, dancing with masks in their hand, each holding a key in their left hand, looked away from the young man laying in the straw bedding in front of the hearth. Their smooth detailed bosom was soft to the touch and very graphic. Four of his large hands could not cover the head to shield it from the rain, had the gods decided to let it do such a thing. The depiction of the women was almost life like, that the person who engraved such a thing was there, as if he saw through his hands through his engraving tools. Two parapets of stone loomed in the distanced, etched with the finest of obsidian, reaching up into the breech of the weapon. The arrow loops In the parapets themselves were smooth and deep, almost large enough to reach the smallest part of the youngsters pinky finger into if he licked it first.
.
Trees, mountains, shaded boroughs rounded out the designs which almost blended in with the immense detail of the blade. He counted four separate layers, of which three separate styles had been used to render all of this masterpiece. When he shook the blade quietly, he could hear a small 'tinkling' inside. Corrosion and grime had marred the other pitted marks, some of which had not been cleaned which may reveal other key holes, openings, and arrow loops connected to even more parapets and naked dancing women holding many faceted keys to open a smattering of equally faceted locks.
.
He sighed to himself and picked up the end of a piece of straw, licked it, and resumed scraping the etching along a small tower and up towards and grassy tree area. As a new etched scene opened to his touch, another door opened in his mind, revealing an idea of what might lie beyond. One of the candles flickered and guttered out, but he kept scraping all the same, smiling.

Look at me Corso.

Hell has it's heroes, Señor.

I'm Jones-in' for some Jones Bacon Flavored Soda (review)

Yeah they have pizza flavored too, but really, who cares! They have BACON SODA!

I'll explain my experience with the bacony, fizzy concoction in a moment but first where you can buy it: All you have to do is go to Jones' great website, and pick up the multi pack which comes with some Bacon flavored popcorn, bacon chap stick, and wonderful bacon gravy mix so you can wash the soda down with nice bacon gravy... all for the low, low price of $9.99.

I bought my two-pack at the local Barnes & Noble here in Fort Myers. I'll start out by saying that its not real fizzy, but is definitely really bacony.. smoky even. Not like the neon red bacon bits you get at the salad bar, like sweet smoky bacon you would cook at home. It's really only good for a few sips, but I let someone smell it waiting in line and they, like most people, love the smell of bacon and instantly wanted to trade me hours of sex for just one sip. (not really)

Overall I'd give it a 7. It's really not that drinkable, but a good little novelty that almost makes you throw up after three sips. Smells awesome, and increases your man-score by a factor of x7 when drank.

I was banned from Digg - Part One

Last night i was banned from the website http://www.digg.com/.

I'm a long time user and have been submitting links for a long time, at the rate of about one per week. When i get around to it i submit 2 or 3 but i rarely abuse the process and keep it to a minimum. Before i really get started, Digg allows unlimited posting and unlimited comments, and encourages their users to get busy.

Yesterday i found out the limit of that. If you comment on someone else link four time in 24 hours, you get flagged for your account to be banned. If you submit more than four links in a day, you are flagged to get your account banned. If you post any links, add too many friends, scroll too fast, or change your profile significantly, you are being flagged for your account to be banned. Bascially, Digg team members are cocksuckers.

I had commented on four nerdy/geek stories my Digg friends had posted with legitimate comments over 24 hours. My comments were replied too and given the big thumbs up. Digg responded to this by banning me around 10pm last night, and sending me this email:

Your account was reported to us as being in violation of our Terms of Use (http://about.digg.com/tou) that you agree to when you registered for Digg.com.

Specifically spamming Digg stories with spam comments.

From Digg Terms Of Use (http://about.digg.com/tou): 5. USER CONDUCT

7. to submit stories or comments linking to affiliate programs, multi-level marketing schemes, sites/blogs re-purposing existing stories (source hops), or off-topic content;

10. to advertise to, or solicit, any user to buy or sell any products or services. It is also a violation of these rules to use any information obtained from the Services in order to contact, advertise to, solicit, or sell to any user without their prior explicit consent;

We must be vigilant in protecting against activities that compromise the Digg community, we'll unban your Digg account if you agree to Digg's Terms Of Use.

Thank you,


-The Digg Support Team.
P.S. We are cocksuckers and love to suck huge black cocks.


I was told it would be no big deal and my account would get reactiviated, but this is seriously a huge pain in my ass. Because I'm having a hard time keeping this site going with fresh visitors.. being new and all.. Digg.com helps me with about 20% of my viewership. So I need this website, i thought it was cool, and I may have to get along without it if this shit keeps happening. If anyone is reading this and your clicking a link from Digg.com, help a brother out and email these fuck-tards, tell them they suck for me. I would do it myself but I'm not even able to access their help form.

WANT: Bacon Talking Plush

Dear Thinkgeek,

Thank you Thinkgeek. You are so awesome. Making a talking slice of plush bacon is the best thing you ever did, right up there with selling a casette tape slot for your computer. Thanks again.. -Major

Badass Motherfucker Awarded

As I am playing the new COD Black Ops and kicking ass, mocking some poor kid that I just killed with a hatchet, I wondered how I would rank being a badass motherfucker. The more I thought, the more specifications there could be. Are we talking about body count? Land conquered? Type & skill of a kill? Or just being able to kick ass without even lifting a finger?
Then I considered who I thought was a badass. But the list grew the more I thought...there are many more, but here are a few examples:










Then one shined above them all. Not only from the incredible parts he has played in movies and tv. But for the fact that he has actually lived the crazy life. Been to the bottom and the top. So, on the eve of Unknown Hole in the Sky's First Annual Badass Motherfucker Awards, I am happy to congratulate Mr. Danny Trejo for being the Baddest Badass Motherfucker to date.



Sorry Jason Statham, but keep banging Amy Smart in public and maybe you'll qualify next year.

Homemade Portal Gun

God why don't I have one of these. I would keep it in my Delorean, with a years supply of bacon sandwiches, I swear this to you.

Major's Cellphone Pictures 11/10/10

I'm going to try and upload blurry pictures from my cell phone everyday.. I'll try to post some interesting stuff if I come accross it.. odds are I will. Yes that is a 30 sided die in the picture on the bottom. I found it in my change tray thing on the hutch, so far as I know the only reason they exist is to show a random number between 1 and 30.

I see what you are doing...

Happy Anniversary X-Ray

With the 115th anniversary of the discovery of the X-Ray, I thought I'd share some of the best uses I have seen today....and yes, that is a gun shoved up a vagina then X-Rayed. I know German physicist William Röntgen who pioneered the use of x-rays 115 years ago, would be very happy with these pics....your welcome Billy! And now, looking at this last one...I do really want a coke classic. (not that one)














I also found this movie that I have never seen before, but will very soon. Great soundtrack! Doctor Feel Good can suck it!