Top 5 Shitty Sword & Sandal Movies (Full Movies!)

Beastmaster 1982

The Sword and the Sorcerer 1982

Gor 1987

The Blade Master 1984

Deathstalker 1983

Blockbuster's Last Store Closes: Thoughts

     The last movie to be rented, in the last Blockbuster franchise open, was "This is the End". Fitting isn't it.

     I think they had a pretty good run. Let's take a quick trip down memory lane, explore the awesome things I remember about our popular rental store in a pros and cons(?) mash-up.

     God, where to start. I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere Vermont, that had no Blockbuster franchise available. Not that I could not watch the commercials on Sci-fi, and dream about the ultimate selection of games and movies available for just a few measly dollars. I shortly thereafter moved to Florida.

     It was a production really. My father would announce we are going out to eat or get ice cream at Ben & Jerry's down the street, and hit the Blockbuster and pick up some movies after dinner. He never really cared about how many movies or games, or combination of both that I picked up, and he even let me grab some candy and soda to take with me. To complete a really good night you had to finish up at Blockbuster.

     When we got home it would be a movie night. My parents would sit in front of the big TV in the living room, while I would go and park in front of the smaller one in my bedroom and watch the crappy movies I just rented. I was never interested in mainstream movies, so I always rented the worst B movies- sandals and sorcerer flicks I could get my hands on. Real crap.

     Deathstalker was the best kind of shit there was to watch. There was at least four of them I can remember without doing research. There was nudity. Sometimes the main character was the same, sometimes not. More nudity, and extreme violence. My parents would ask me what I rented, and I would always tell them something like, "The Secret Garden", or "Drop Dead Fred". Old movies at the Blockbuster by my house were $1.00 for three days. Three days! What a deal.

     Other local rental places were popular in pockets around town. One particular rental establishment was called Prime Time Video, and honestly, was much better than your average Blockbuster rental store. Unfortunately, I can't find any pictures or video of Prime Time Video, as it closed several years ago. They had a Game Trader section where you can sell your old games and get a new one for a decent price. Popcorn was free, and they had arcade machines and vending machine all over the place. Movies played on TVs around the store and you could test any video game you want to buy on one of their provided consoles in the game area. They were the only place I ever went to that had rare, obscure and PC games for sale and for rent in the same place. Prime Time Video: A relic of the past that will be missed.

     I will conclude this drunken rant with the following: Don't forget the rental places that first introduced you to certain movies and video games. Before Netflix and Google existed, you had to read the back of the box to make a choice of what you wanted to watch. God help me I can remember the carpet at Camelot Video in Cape Coral had special carpet that glowed under blacklight, and had movie-film-popcorn pattern to it.

Fignobbins. (Krull 1983)

     In the movie Krull, There is a part of the movie when the main characters are having some friendly banter. 

Ergo: If I had my wish I'd be out of this gloomy place right away. If I really had my wish I'd be sitting on top of a gooseberry pie as big as a mountain. No, that's a bit greedy. I'll settle for one as big as a house.

Titch: I'd wish for a puppy.

Ergo: Only one puppy? If you're wishing why not wish for a hundred?

Titch: Only want one.

Ergo: Well that's a foolish wish. And you Rell, what would you wish for?

Rell the Cyclops: Fignobbins.

Proof: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCoQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DH2RImwWyQg4&ei=8QsiUvuCEMqxsQSCn4GgBw&usg=AFQjCNFEPB77uC0xSxE5DU0TUvtei07s_Q&sig2=n0PwnxmdtTKKS8T3HnZb0w

I submitted a correction to IMDB to fix the quote.

My brother and I watched this movie as a child and I'm 100% sure that's what he says. He and I have talked about this at length.

Someone posted it on Reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/1lgpsl/in_the_movie_krull_when_asked_what_he_wants_more/

The other blog, First Edition Fantasy

     I have been cheating on this blog with another blog. I'll admit it. I really just go book hunting and try to find rare and expensive first edition books from days past. If you are in to that kind of shit, click here or the banner above.

     Dustin will be coming back on a short term lease to update this blog from time to time so it may change. We will see...

The comuter virus enigma.

       Some people take this topic very seriously. It can take several hours out of your work day and in rare occurances, force your hand to buy another computer. From the I.T. professionals stand point.. what should you do?

    Reinstall windows. you won't lose any of your important files. If you feel that you might, invest in a cheapo external hard drive or larger thumb drive. Even in the worst situations you can get to safe mode and get the files you need off. Seriously thats it. What if you don't want to reinstall windows? Then you're a pussy. But there is a way.

     Having been very bored in middleschool, my friends and I would give each other hard to find Macinosh virus programs. The nastier the better. It was part of a game to remove them, pass them on. When we moved to windows based computers, nothing changed.. with the exception of the odd virus you're friends did not give you. This was before a really good working Norton, or Kaspersky. This was way before the days of ALG free virus scanner. None of these work 100%, and the only thing that does is a manual removal, or a clean reinstall.

     I'm going to give you the best advice ever. Back up your files. Buy an up-to-date copy of windows. Keep an extra external sata hardrive for your laptop or PC around. It's a $40 investment, that can minimize your downtime to an hour or less. Take your replacement drive, hook it up, install windows to it, then put your old one back in. When that one dies or takes a dump, pop in your preinstalled windows hardrive and never miss a beat. When you get around to it, wipe the old one and use it as your new back up. Or toss it. Personally, i pick a day on the weekend and just wipe it. Gone are the days of spending multiple hundreds of dollars on hardware. Use this to your advantage, buy cheap, keep backups. Hell, i have multipule computers laying around just in case.