The Future of Social media.. is Cyberspace.

 

I can't begin to explain how exciting this is.

DOS 1993 BBS vibes. Monochrome gas plasma throwback. Modern media meets text adventure.

Experience Cyberspace now. 

Bravo Channel in the late 90's Changed Me.

 

TV needed something, and that something was Bravo.

    Late in the cycle of the VHS era, TV ushered in fresh new content in an attempt to breathe fresh life into the platform of basic cable. You may have had 40-50 channels, but often times at night, nothing was on. If you wanted to watch movies, you had to pay for those channels. After 10pm, most channels went to infomercials, paid programming, or just turned off completely. In those times, Bravo bailed out the night owls with some unique perspective. This channel had the market cornered on random and obscure, and I was here for it. 

Art, music, movies - uncensored

     For the first time you could tune in to a channel with very limited commercials, with breaks and channel programming announced by a melodic deep voice with dreamy transitions. There was a new or old live recording of Cirque Du Soleil on damn near every night. Live concerts, movies only screened at Cannes film festival, and weekends of rare london underground punk movies complete with nudity and violence. My step mother got me into enjoying theatre, so you can imagine my surprise when over the holidays there was a Broadway marathon including CATS- something I did not see live until around college age.

Early 90's punk nouveau film was common

    I was introduced to independant and low budget cinema from watching Bravo past 2am on a weekdays. Films that would never find their way to America got limited viewing and promotion; rare back then. Trainspotting would come on at midnight, London Kills me at 2am, and Blue Juice at 3:45. I worked nights, never slept. This level of chaotic programming was right up my alley and expanded what I knew about international and foreign movies, which at the time as basically nothing. 

Top quality movies, explained

     I have a fond memory of an experience I owe to my girlfriend at the time, who was out of town, calling me to tell me to tune into Bravo. There was a movie that I would like on, you should watch it. We ended up on the phone for over an hour watching the greater part of The Name of the Rose starring Sean Connery. My first watch, but I had read the Umberto Ecco book before, but it had been a while. I had no idea this movie existed, and we watched it on the phone together in silence until the breaks where we speculated what was going to happen next. What a rare treat at the time to catch something as meaningful and as profound as this movie on basic cable at the ripe old age of 15. The commercial breaks were minimal, complete with subdued lighting and noise. Before the movie resumed, a narrator explained the differences between the movie and the book, and speculated director choices. After the movie, there was an interview with Umberto Ecco. This was peak nerd shit, I'm telling you. I was fucking hooked. 

Rare documentary's on obscure album creation

     I learned so much about music. I had no idea Frida had her own album that she launched solo in the early 80's, let alone the fact that Phil Collins wrote and performed the whole thing, did all the work, and really just did not get along with the ABBA alum.. but here we are at 1:30am watching a whole retrospective about how the music was made. Down the rabbit hole we go as the next 5 hours of programming were devoted to live Genesis performances synced to pictures and videos of art and people dancing. Strange but powerful. The arts shape the young mind, and so I was indeed molded to be interested in media I did not wholly understand. 

TLDR; Bravo was a way normal people in America could be cultured in the 90's without breaking the bank, and consume media that you never knew existed. 

The $1 Five-Day Tape Rental

 

Early 90's, local video store jank. The best.

We're not talking about Blockbuster, Family Video, or Hollywood Video here- we are hailing the dingy and cluttered neighborhood video rental stores of the 80's and 90's. Where the family enslaved their kid to work behind the counter; where the rentals for video games were always around 2 years old and the snacks around the same age. Posters peeling off the walls. This was the age of the Five-Day Rental. 

The Labyrinth poster in the bottom left makes it work.

What exactly is a Five-Day Rental, and what would constitute a Five-Day Rental movie? Well, I'm glad you asked. In my neck of the woods it was typically limited to Horror, Sword and Sandal, and cheesy martial arts or Sci-Fi. Admittedly, some of the movies in this section would not deserve to be there, but that was half the fun. Scooping up 6-7 movies on the cheap, and lucking out on a few, or discovering an actor or series you didn't know you liked. To qualify I think there has to be the following things: violence, nudity, camp/jank, and sometimes a low budget. Below would 5 good examples of movies I had in rotation, and would be an easy pick up for my brother and I. 

Arena is Babylon 5 Fight Club

     Arena made it to Cinemax back in the day, and later on the Sci-fi channel's late night lineup. Before that it was 100% early 90's sci-fi straight to VHS gold. Gritty, questionable special effects, and a story you really had to suspend disbelief to make sense. There was a little bit of nudity, fight scenes, and a dude with four arms. 

The best of the worst, Deathstalker delivers

    If my brother or friend sleeping over had some level of disagreement on what to rent, these were always a certified hit. Top class nudity, comedy, extreme levels of camp and terrible acting, and gritty death scenes. I would call this genre "Guts and Sluts", which of course my step-mom did not like. Like the movie Conan but $3.50 is too much to rent it? Get all four of these and enjoy over the top sex scenes and shitty special effects for a quarter of the price. Sure, they have recycled scenes, special effects, and sets.. but that's what makes it special. I think. I would include all the other shitty italian Sword and Sandal movies of the day in this as well: Barbarians, Sorceress, Beastmaster (one of the better ones), Hawk The Slayer, Krull.. the list goes on. 

Chopping Mall is worth a buck, for sure.

     For whatever reason, all the horror movies outside of the newly released were always in the $1 bin. Chopping mall was about a Johnny-5 style robot that goes around killing the teenagers that thought it would be cool to spend the night in the mall. These bots slice and dice all the way to the end and it's worth every bit of that $1 to watch it at last twice. Good levels of nudity, terrible acting, and a premise that seems more like fact than fiction these days, this movie is like Mallrats and Valley Girl meet Friday the 13th. Bargain bin horror was never hit or miss. Troma movies were bottom of the barrel, but they don't suffer any kind of identity crisis and you know what you were getting into. 

All Jackie, all the time. 

     Any Jackie Chan movies qualify, but some of them should not be in there at all. The old stuff from the early 80's is pure low budget cheese, and should only be taken in case of emergencies. The stuff from the late 80's and early 90's absolutely destroys all expectations. I would call this section of the rental store the area where you would easily get the most bang for the buck. Rumble in the Bronx is fucking insane. First Strike? Pure class. Meals on Wheels? A master class in martial arts, and his fight scene with Benny the Jet is still considered one to be the best ever filmed.  Don't sleep on Jackie Chan.

Straight to VHS, Robot Jox is peak

     I'm a huge sci-fi nerd, so not to be outclassed by Arena, Robot Jox and it's sequel were always a go-to for me. In that same section you could find the first two Cyborg movies, both of which have A-class nudity and a story you can barley follow, on a shoestring budget as well as a smattering of Billy Blanks movies where he is a black terminator. I'm really surprised at what studios pulled off for the time with the budget available; it seemed like an episode of Babylon 5 sometimes with the sets and acting.. sometimes even the same actors looking exactly the same. Looking at you Arena!