In a dystopian future, where the kid from Robocop 2 and the love interest of Indiana Jones share the screen, a sport that requires an AI driven truck to reach Terminus reigns supreme. Mix two parts Mad Max with one part Cyborg 2, and you have the recipe for Terminus. (Watch full movie here!)
Sometime around the year 2037, a truck named Monster is designed by a boy genius to drive by itself and the lady from Indiana Jones is talking to the truck for about the first third of the movie. Eventually, we meet our main villain:
Complete with fish net fingerless gloves, our confused super-bad is very upset by some voice speaking to him through a speaker for a while. I'm not sure at this point if I should be concerned or not, but I'am.
I can't talk enough about the AI truck mouth. It's constantly talking in an exaggerated african-american wise cracking tone that is really off putting, getting a ton of screen time. Occasionally to my delight, the little TV's under the mouth would show random anime, and when asked was told it could one of two things, evil, just a short circuit that made the anime display on the screens.
At some point the Baseball Furies from The Warriors stop the convoy from going any futher. Previous to this, the AI mouth truck would just plow through everything and make things explode. I would dwell on this, but we get transported right into a nightmare world of reused sets and props from other movies, with the only exposition a sex scene with a robot hand.
It's awkward and full of cringe.. exactly how I like it. We meet some more mini-bosses, an irate jacked italian guy who likes 80's video games, and this guy who is terrible at arm wrestling.
We learn that our metal armed friend has orange teeth, is great at drinking and arm wrestling and has no issues taking over the helm of the AI mouth winnebago after Marion from Raiders eats shit. Yes, she dies, and I'm not sure why she was written out. I think I missed something?
How delighted was I to see that the AI mouth truck has a coffee machine hidden away in the center console. It pours automatically and then reminds our new hero that it's bad for him. Our hero with orange teeth, one arm, and is also super drunk. More anime displays on the little TV's in the cab, and there is some kind of bullshit going on outside that makes me wonder what I'm doing watching this movie to begin with.
Is there anything more exciting than fake GPS? Not since Star Wars wire frame garbage have I seen something so spectacular. All of a sudden, I'm back in this movie 100%, my faith renewed.
What comes next is the single most important shot of the movie: A long tracking shot of this cool city with 1000% fucking random nonsense going on. Click the Tarzan Bikers link above and just give it a watch, I swear its the most amazing this you will ever see, only lasts like 2 minutes and appears to be France? I'll try to write down just a few things in this scene below:
- Asian Mimes
- Biker Tarzans
- A motorcycle driving on a high-wire
- A man with a turban with a huge snake in a wicker chair
- Glow in the dark prostitutes
- A pantless man wearing a ringmaster jacket
- An avante garde cockfight
- An outdoor strip club pinball arcade
- A VR flashback that includes a bloody fetus
- The AI truck upset at a man playing harmonica
