Story Time: My trip to New Orleans and the Anne Rice Memnoch Ball 1999

 

The Memnoch Ball, 1995

Since I was able to read and watch TV, I was crazy about Vampires. I loved the old universal movies growing up, and I was so into watching and reading the horror media of the 80's I grew up in. As I got older and in high school, I read a ton of Anne Rice, sometimes the same book twice in the same week. If a new book came out, I would be in line to buy it right away. One of the reasons I started working at Books-a-Million part time was to get all the cool Vampire: The Masquerade and White Wolf books first, and at a heavy discount.. sometimes even free. In one of these horror magazines at Books-a-Million there was a whole section about The Memnoch Ball in New Orleans in 1995, and that started an obsession.

The movie had just come out and I was in love with the imagery and overwhelming gothic nature of New Orleans. New Orleans was a mythical place in my mind. I know it was real, I have heard of stories of people going there, but never did anyone really close to me experience it themselves. Asking my parents if I could go really made them concerned, and there was nothing I could do to convince them to move a vacation there. I wanted to see the cemeteries, the shops, the places from the movie. Every damn book, game or anything that had something to do with modern day Vampires was based there. I had to go. I had to know more. 

The Vampire Lestat Fanclub is still going on today, organizing events. Anne herself attended until before she passed away.

I subscribed to the Anne Rice newsletter and joined the Usenet groups on AOL. There was a thread where people (adults) were talking about where they were going to meet, the hotels that they would stay at, and the great dinner before The Memnoch Ball. I asked a ton of questions and got them answered: Where was the ball? What dinner? Which hotel? What's the address? And so on. In this way I was able to schedule a fictional trip to New Orleans in my mind and get excited about it, even it I was not able to attend. The tickets for the dinner were $250 and I got the phone number to call and make a reservation over the phone, and the address to mail the check to. There was three different levels of tickets to the Memnoch Ball, one was a public ticket, and two higher tiers were for her Fan Club. The top tier came with a bottle of wine signed by Anne Rice, and you got to meet her and get a picture. That ticket was $200.

7-Eleven, a previous employer of mine for around six months sent me a letter that they have sold out their profit sharing and were now part of another company, and sent me a check out of the blue for almost $1200. All of a sudden the funds to make my dream became a reality, but it did have it's challenges. For one, my parents could not know that I was going to make a road trip, alone, out of state while under 18 years old from Florida. I had only went on the highway a handful of times, and I had a hotrod 1972 Nova SS that was of questionable reliability. I built it, it was mine, and I have fond memories of it. Big 350 engine, awesome stereo.. and fast. Holy shit this car was fast.

First thing's first- I bought the tickets. I called the numbers, mailed the checks. One issue came up, no hotels or rooms available anywhere. I felt indestructible at that age, so I did not let that stop me and vowed to just sleep in my car in the back seat. I owned a knife, I figured that would be enough. My girlfriend at the time was living with me, so I had to figure out how to not tell her about what was going on, and also explain my absence. Our parents knew each other, if she or them found out, the Memnoch Ball would just be a fantasy. It just so happened, one of my friends in the military who lived in Tennessee was getting married the same week. I called him and some friends that were going and they said they would cover for me. I felt like an asshole not attending their wedding, but I had no idea what kind of paper marriage bullshit my friend was up to anyways. My alibi complete, I was ready to leave.. the tickets came, and I saw the ball said 21 and up, but whatever, I looked old enough, and had a beard already.

I packed my car's backseat with a cooler with some food in it for 2 days, a paper map from the gas station, a backpack with some clothes, a few items I wanted signed in case I did meet Anne, and set off. At this point in my life I did own a cell phone, but was told by my dad to only use it in emergencies, as it was over $1 a minute to call someone. I forgot to charge it anyways, so it was dead. The drive took around 12 hours because I only had a 12 gallon tank, in a car with 411 rear gears. I will say, I never got stranded or broke down, the car easily made it there, and looked liked a bad motherfucker the whole way.

I arrived in the early afternoon with two hours until the dinner, so I found a gas station and went to the bathroom and changed into nice clothes, and set out towards the french quarter to The Rosegate House for the big dinner. I had my Vampire Lestat Fan Club Ticket, my Coven Card, and I was ready to rock and roll. I got there, parked two blocks away and holy shit.. it was just as I imagined it. huge mansion on a beautiful old street.. ancient vampires could be in there! I got in line with a bunch of other people with my heavily used copy of Interview with the Vampire. The couple in front of me were also fan club members, and dressed in dark purples and black gothic period clothing. There were so nice to talk to, and did not seem at all concerned that a kid from Florida made it here alone for the opportunity.

Over an hour of sweating and waiting for the gate to open from the house, there was an announcement: The dinner was cancelled. There was a huge collective groan as the sun was going down. I waited in line to talk to the man who was in charge and made the announcement- he said all tickets would be refunded and that we would all receive a gift in the mail for our troubles. The reason for the cancelation? The Real World New Orleans was filming at the mansion, and they would be the only ones attending the dinner. There was only about 20 of us, so we huddled in front of the mansion as what I can only assume are producers and such ushered the cast of the Real World past us, and up the stairs into the house. It's worth noting there was a cast reunion of this season, trailer available here. We were shooed away as lights were set up, so everyone moved to the end of the street.

I think people assumed I was older than I was. I mentioned I have a car, and the couple I met said they took a Taxi. In exchange for a round of drinks, I agreed to take them to their hotel so they could change and we could go out. At this point in my life, I had never really been to a bar before, and from what I heard, bars in New Orleans were next level insane. Well, I was not disappointed. Bourbon street was fucking awesome. 

$1 drinks everywhere, people drinking in street, and as soon as it hit midnight, it went to level 11. There were fights, people dressed like vampires selling PBR's from a three-wheeled bike to me for $2. I lost track of the nice couple but met some other young people dressed like gothic noir princes from The Masquerade. They took me around, I let one of the girls drive my car. She thought that was the greatest thing ever, and took pictures of it, and had me take one of her. I saw someone holding a sign up for a "movie location tour" and gave him $10 and joined a group of about 15. I had no idea at the time, but the move Double Jeopardy had just came out with Ashley Judd, and it was doing well in the theatres and drummed up a lot of interest in New Orleans. We walked the streets and went inside hotels like we were staying there, between back roads and bars, in small alleys and all the way to the Metairie Cemetery. I got to see the Cemetery after all! I was vibrating I was so excited about every little thing.

My memory was not the best about the shit that went down after that, but I think I just got trashed at a dive bar that had one of those connected back rooms that had dirty couches and stage and fell asleep there. I was kicked out in the middle of the night, found my car, and fell asleep in the back seat until the sound of trolleys and cars woke me up the next morning. I parked on a sidestreet next a breakfast place that I could of swore was a bar last night, but in either event, had one of the best breakfasts of my life and the first real food since I entered New Orleans. The next 8 hours were a day dream of walking around and seeing things, buying things from shops, and just relaxing at Cafe's eating the best food ever. I ate oysters for the first time on the half shell after watching a family destroy several plates.

My ticket said - Anne Rice's Memnoch ball at The Coven. I took my car, which looking back was a mistake because parking is not the easiest. I cant remember where I actually was, but the whole street appeared to be under construction. The Ball was just as the pictures described.. people dressed up, a band playing incredible music, everyone dressed up, and I was correct to assume I would not be carded for ID at the front door. My black drawstring bag handed to me at the door had two bottles of wine signed by Anne, a bookplate of Memnoch the Devil with Anne's picture (blank) and a black candle. The place was fucking PACKED. You could barely move, and I wanted to ditch this heavy bag at the car, but it was so far away. There was a another level with an iron railing and you could walk up to the next floor, and it was less populated so you could get a break- and there she was. Anne Rice with her arms on a railing next to what looked like a punk rock Mad Max extra talking to her. 

She was in all black and looked like she belonged in the movie. She was laughing and talking loud over the music like she was a normal person. I walked over and waiting next to the railing where her people and the punk rock girl was standing, and sure enough she laid her attention on me. Right then and there I realized I forgot my Interview book for her to sign, and the only thing I had was the bookplate and my ticket.  I stammered a few words of how much of a fan I was, of her, and her writing and the way she shaped the world I'm standing in right now. I told her how much I loved New Orleans and I drove from Fort Myers. She just smiled and nodded her head while she signed the couple of things I had. She apologized about the dinner, and blamed someone by name, but I cant remember who she said, and thanked me several times... and just like that, the 2 minutes was up, and she was talking to someone else again and smiling her big broad smile to them.

 The rest of the night was a blur. I saw her walking around several times, and at one point they put a throne on stage and people were talking to her between music sets. Several celebrities in her world.. authors and agents were thanked and brought up on stage. Some band covered Marilyn Manson? Or maybe it was him, either way I was drunk and happy, and just in a different world. The drive home was easy as soon as I got to 75 and went south. I spent way less money than I intended and nothing bad happened, with the exception of the dinner getting cancelled. 

The 9th Gate (1999) - Full Movie Link & Thoughts

 

Shhhhh. (all links tested)

Watch for free on Plex - Free with popups site - Another free with popups site

     It's no secret I'm a huge fan of The Club Dumas and The 9th Gate. See previous unconnected thoughts here, and a couple of other random posts. Some quick history with the book and the movie; I read the book first, it was a gift from a girlfriend and she thought I would like it. The movie came out in 1999, and because news and internet was slow and shitty and I was disconnected from the world, I had no clue the movie and the book were connected in any way. I didn't see a trailer on the E! Channel like I normally would after Talk Soup to clue me in, and that was almost exclusively the way I would have known or seen it.

One to two packs of Pall Malls a day.

   I identified with Lucas Corso ('Dean' in Movie); I smoked a pack a day, collected rare books of different types and had a similar cavalier attitude about life in general. Before the movie existed, I was obsessed with reading anything from Arturo Perez-Reverte's catalog, and though I thought they were all great books, I never liked them as much as Dumas. It was not the first book to really grab me, but it was of the few. I was at a time in my life when 18 year old me was exclusively reading Science Fiction, and this was a huge change for me which led me down the path of the likes of Dan Brown and Umberto Eco. It was a.. witty person's summer reading, and you didn't have to get all the literary references to enjoy it. 

There were... some changes.

    I finally watched the movie after I realized what it was, and rented it from Blockbuster. Initially I was thrilled, until I realized right away that there was some really extreme changes from the book, and why they could not call the movie The Club Dumas. The Dumas connection was removed from the movie, and the roles of several characters have been swapped and moved around to the point where I had to unlearn the book and just enjoy the movie for what it was. The opening of the movie, it shows a young-ish Depp buying some early Three Musketeers books, and scamming them, being quite the con-artist as in the book. Seeing a Dumas reference, I thought.. Oh shit! This is going to be super faithful. If I squinted hard enough, Depp looked the part of a 40's Lucas Corso.

This is not the worst of endings.

    All doubts cast aside, I found myself really enjoying the movie. I did miss the Dumas connection, but even in the book, it turned out that Dumas manuscript had nothing to do with the central plot, and was just a bundle of crazy coincidences and distractions. The book ends in a very serene yet grotesque way, with "Irene" or "The Girl" listening to Borja burning alive inside the building, leaving you to believe that summoning the devil didn't work after all. Corso thinks to himself, it didn't work because the Ceniza brothers most likely forged the book plates after all, and off he goes. No devil, no doors, no gates. I very much like the liberties taken in the movie to visualize the woodcuts from the book, that it's the girl in the final correct cut, and going a step further, finding the page at the Ceniza brothers business and entering the gate himself. Admittedly, I would have like it better if he left with the girl, but that was explained as she left the clue on his windshield. I digress. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, watch the movie, read the book, post some comments. It would make me happy. 

Book Collecting 101

I collect lots of things, but my real passion is.. you guessed it, books. I've collected games and systems, board games, posters, cards, movies, comics.. and sold them all and not regretted it one bit. The books have found a place in my house every time I moved, and i never put any in boxes.

I started buying and sorting books in my room when i was in 7th grade, and in my first year moving to Florida after my parents divorce. My dad bought me a used bed that had a book case in the headboard that would hold about 50+ books. Compelled, i got my lord of the rings trilogy together and set them up like little soldiers right behind where i layed my pillow. One problem, it looked empty. My dad asked me if i wanted some more books, and i said yes just to fill up the headboard so it did not look stupid. For some reason i felt if my friends were to come over, or a girl, they would wonder why i had just three books in there. I was convinced some day a girl would come over so this was pretty important.

He took me to the Flea Market at the run down drive-in movie theatre several times and i got it filled up. I had only ever read fantasy books and not that many really so had no idea what i was looking for. By coincidence i picked up several Piers Anthony books. One night, laying awake in a small duplex in the ghetto with no TV, phone, or anything to entertain me, i reached behind the headboard and grabbed one of these Anthony books and began to read. I stayed up all that night to read that book, and nearly missed the bus the next morning. I had to have more!

By the time i was 16, I had finished collecting Piers Anthony books and had most editions and at least one legit copy of each title he published, which was around 250 to 300 books. I had others in my collection by different authors but with no serious direction how i bought them, or how i read them. Altogether i had about 500 books total or 2 book cases and that stupid headboard full to overflowing. I have pictures I will upload later if i can find them. Yes, i took pictures of my books.

Limited funds did not allow me to buy books for a few years after high school. If i saw something at a garage sale for 10 cents i would pick it up, otherwise i would just skip it. So between 2000 and 2002 i bought and read maybe 75 books total. My hand written ledger confirms this. So for those who are keeping track, i had about 575 books at this point. That's about 3 Super Target bookcases super-full. Between 2003 and 2004, i became a hunter. I pinned thrift stores and flea markets on paper maps in my bedroom and made weekly road trips. People brought me books they were throwing away. I abused the paperback exchange stores with throw away books from libraries and picked up another 300 books in this time. Money way better, so i spent it. In the long term, my hobby does not really cost anything significant, and my girlfriend at the time was supportive and loved telling people our house was a library.

In 2004 i got married (different woman) and my hording tapered off some. I started to sell some of my first edition rare titles to make some extra money in 2008. I told my wife anything over $100.00 list on ebay is going to be sold which she was really happy about as our house just got destroyed by a tornado. (the books were fine) I sold three books before i almost had some kind of emotional breakdown. I had sold or lost everything else i collected over the years, why should i sell something I've some passionate about? I felt with each ebay sale as if a piece of me was being sucked away.

Once we stabilized and had our son, i dragged myself to every store i could find, plotting my weekends finding, sorting, reading, writing, and just collecting more books. In this period of time between 2009 and 2011, i bought over 1000 books. Yes you read that right. And i only sold one, for the sole purpose of using that money to buy even more books.

I changed jobs in 2011 and all of a sudden, I'm getting paid about double what i use to make. My job allows me to travel Florida and see new things and find all these hidden book store not on google. The 50 mile radius around my house became dry, and the only things i could find were at garage sales. I started to search abroad and discovered gold. Since may 2011, i have brought back over 500 books home with me. Again, i only sold one for some mad money to buy even more books.

I do not have all my books in my database yet as i have been buying them faster than i can get them sorted and put in, but i think I'm well over 2,500 different science fiction and fantasy paper backs. With that i have about 500 or more hard backs. It's enough to fill a room full of bookcases, which is exactly what i will be doing in the coming weeks.. buying lots of bookcases and getting everything organized. I might have to take time off work for this one.



The Princess Bride First Ed. Paperback (1973)

The Codex Seraphinianus: First Few Pages

If you don't know what the Codex Seraphinianus is, then please click here right the fuck now. For those who hate to click links in fear of trojan horses or virus threats, stop being a pussy. I'll explain:



The Codex Seraphinianus is a book written and illustrated by the Italian artist, architect and industrial designer Luigi Serafini during thirty months, from 1976 to 1978.^[1] The book is approximately 360 pages long (depending on edition), and appears to be a visual encyclopedia of an unknown world, written in one of its languages, a thus-far undeciphered alphabetic writing.

Click the pictures below to enlarge. Comment and i'll post some more otherwise I'm not going to bother.

Three new Harry Potter books? She might.. she might not.

You Evil Whore.

Let me explain something to you. J.K. Rowling is a billionaire and she has only wrote 7 fucking books. There are more copies of her books in print than the Bible.

So why did she think it was important to go on Oprah and shake shit up and say she "might in 10 years, i have all the plots for three books", or "might not" and that she feels that the series is not over. Of course if she wrote three new Harry Potter books there would be three new movies, merchandising, movies on break.com of people spoiling the endings.. the list goes on.

I suppose if i were J.K. Rowling and i needed a new sparkling 24k gold toilet in which to flush my billionaire turds, i would write a new book. With each subsequent book i would then encrust my new throne with diamonds and rubies, and with the release of the last movie, i would invent gold bacon, eat it, then flush it down my wonderful solid gold with platinum accents shitter with a hen's egg sized ruby for a handle.

Teasing the population of america's youth, (and not so youthful) was not the smartest thing to tell the worlds richest talk show host who also happens to be an overweigh black woman who would like nothing more than her very own solid gold toilet and golden bacon in which to flush. People are disapointed and want another book. I waited in line with my wife at the last two releases, lines miles long, all to find out dumbledore is gay.

I can picture it now. Miss Rowling, sitting at a large banquet table carved out of a single piece of the finest emerald, eating her Foi Gras and ground extinct animal porriage, picking her teeth with the reverse end of a Dodo bird feather she purchased from a museum for such a purpose, musing about making enough money to clone herself so she would know what it would be like to know admiration. Then, at the moment when she has used all her money and has cock-teased america enough into believeing she has written another book, she rides as what can only be described as a Unicorn transformer into her local Books-A-Million and proceeds to defecate on sheets of notebook paper.

Group Discussion: Top 100 Sci-Fi Books

I took this picture from this website. Its a current and ever changing list that the Science Fiction community goes by. I disagree with some of it.

I'll talk top 10 and just let me know in the comments if you disagree.

1) Move Neuromancer to #2. The book changed how we think about the world, before it happened. Coined the terms Cyberspace, Internet, The Web, The Net. (side note: Sold my first edition on Ebay last year.)
2)Dune is sci-fi, but its fantasy too. Its modern fantasy and it reads like the bible so its not for everyone. It needs to be put down to #5. (The movie sucks HARD, but i watch it anyways)
3) 1984 was another huge book, and probably the most read on the list being it being in the school and college curriculum for years now. I feel this book made the top 10 just for that reason. I'm going to throw it down the list to #13 or so. Sorry guys, I've put alot of thought into this one and I'd rather read other books.
4) I, Robot is an awesome book, one of my personal favorites. It's on this list because it talked robot culture, and robotics in general... but not for the first time. Foundation coined the terms and used the same premises, so I'm removing I, Robot from the list and tossing it to #11.
5) You knew this was coming. Hitchhikers Guide does not belong in the top 10 at all. Its a funny book, it makes you think against the grain, but i read a whole chapter in the second book about the engines running on a waitresses tip book, and when the engine bay was finally looked at, sure enough there is a french cafe in there.
6) Ringworld to #4. If you have not read Ringworld, then i don't want to hear it. Halo references welcome.

How many of these books could i have read? I just picked apart the top 100 and these are the books i do not own: (read as well)

-14 Arthur C Clarke Rendezvous With Rama
-31 Alfred Bester The Stars My Destination
-33 Roger Zelazny Lord of Light
-67 Harry Harrison The Stainless Steel Rat [S1]
-90 John Scalzi Old Man's War

Most of the books i have on this list i own in "Top Science Fiction Books of 19xx" compilations so I'm cheating, but I've read them, enjoy them all, disagree with some. People will argue that i did not move Ender's Game. I don't like Orson Scott Card personally, he believes in the wrongs things, sues people for stupid shit and is Mormon but fuck sir, Ender's Game is genius and i can't describe it any other way.

Also i don't think anyone will agree with me but i think Killobyte by Piers Anthony deserves at least an honorable mention in the top 100. I did not see any of his books in there, and some of his books from the 60's were groundbreaking and deserved a spot for sure. Other lists mention him several times but lets no go there right now. Killobyte is one of the first books to really take the (then trivial) world of Online Gaming serious, explore it's roots and to explain in detail how people can forget themselves inside of a mere "game". With over 75 million people playing just a dozen online games, I'm surprised this book is not much more popular than it is. Remember this book was conceived in 1981, far before virtual reality. He was sure that when he would be done with the book in 1991, that virtual reality over networks and MMORPGs would more popular than they were. Hrm.

The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion

Go ahead. Google it. While your at it, google the name "Henry Darger." I'll give you a minute then scroll down some.

Henry Joseph Darger was a reclusive American writer and artist who worked as a custodian in Chicago, Illinois. He has become famous for his posthumously discovered 15,145-page, single-spaced fantasy manuscript called The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion, (also know as Into the Realms of the Unreal) along with several hundred drawings and watercolor paintings illustrating the story. Darger's work has become one of the most celebrated examples of outsider art.

15,145 pages.. one book?

In the Realms of the Unreal includes The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinian War Storm Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion, and extends over 15 immense, densely-typed volumes of 15,145 total pages. The text is accompanied by three bound volumes of several hundred illustrations, scroll-like watercolor paintings on paper, the work of six decades, derived from magazines and coloring books. In addition, Darger wrote an eight volume, 5,084-page autobiography, The History of my Life; a 10-year daily weather journal; assorted diaries; and a second work of fiction, provisionally titled Crazy House, of over 10,000 handwritten pages. He started writing in 1908.

The son of a bitch was crazy, spent his entire life writing and drawing huge elaborate pictures from tracings of childrens books about 7 sisters on another planet. Some of the drawings he made took up to 3 years to complete, were 10 feet long, and had 10,000 or more tracings.

What the hell? I'm right there with you. Just watch the vid below.

The 9th Gate Revisited

I have read The Club Dumas almost every year from highschool at least one time. This year for some reason i read it twice. Morgan posted the wood cuts from the movie, which are just awesome.

I'm an admitted Bibliofile.. i collect books, read them, love them. One day i would like to sell them.

Let me tell a quick story about Corso Books.

I contacted a guy who lived in Wales who was a college student. His father whom he never talked to left him a huge mass of books and a library to put them in. Books mostly on the subjust of the Occult and some various other subjects lied within the library, dating back to the early 15th century. The house was given to his family, and the burden of the estate was dumped on him. The books were worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Sell a book to a museum over here, to an occultist over there, pretty soon life was pretty good for this guy. He didnt care if he sold one book a year if thats all it took to get food on the table and pay the bills.

I emailed him and asked if he would ever broker sales to the United States and Canada, out of curiosity, and nothing else. He said not a problem at all, and he would send me scans of the books as he got to them, he had several books on vellum that he had several doubles of, that he would loan them to me and see what damage i could do. This man had no fixed and updated website, did not sell on ebay, and was not interested in travel. We made an agreement, and he sent me the first of the scans.

I looked over the scans and did not know what to say. All the ideas i had, and i knew no one that would be interested in these books. Hell, one of them would be a months salary for me, some of them, much more. I had no idea he was serious. Who would want these books? The pictures scared me sometimes. The woodcuts in the scans stood out like they jumped off the page. The writing was in perfect practiced latin hand, and the vellum of the pages was uneven, but cut so straight, that you would never know how old it was.

I did the only thing i knew how to do: I made a website. I tried to hide refrences and homages to movies, to add little secret buttons and mouse-overs, i really gave it my all with the design. I talked to a friend of mine at work and he said he was interested in the selling part if we could get any bites. We did get bites, calls somtimes from across america. "Are those book really for sale, or is this a joke.", Was a the main theme for the basis of all the emails.

Once in a while the gentleman from wales emails me and asks me if i sold the books. I tell him no, and im sorry, and he says no problem, don't worry about it. They will sell someday.

Visit Corso Books Homepage (sitecopy)

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Oh, to settle rumors, the Nine Doors to the Kingdom of Shadows (Nonus Porta) Does not exist, (but you can get your own here.) When Arturo Perez wrote the book it was obvious that he had to make some things up to make the story believable, and lets face it, the devil didn't write anything.

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Or did he?

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The Book of Soyga

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The truth is, there really is a book that is the treastise on magic, that you can use it to summon the devil, that has no known origin with secrets laying across 3 copies, and you need all three and the key words and phrases to unlock them. There were errors (?) across the three known books, that the wood cuts of the diagrams were copied from an unknown source, so you need all three books present to get it right. It has been translated.

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So what are you waiting for? Go summon the devil already... you assholes.

Voynich Manuscript

This one is a hard pill to swallow. Almost as hard as flying Indian Nuclear powered death machines.

The Voynich Manuscript is a book written in an unknown language in the 15th century, and has never been deciphered. It contains pictures and diagrams split into chapters like Astrology, Botany, Cosmology with extensive maps. No Big deal right? Tons of old maps and things have been found over the years.

Nothing in this book makes any sense whatsoever. The pictures of plants alone are enough to make your nose bleed, with pictures of trees with unknown fruit, star clusters that don't exist, maps and formations that have never ever been found to exist on our world. The writing is nothing like anything we have ever come across, and has not been translated as of yet. Tons of money has pumped into programs to have it translated and its diagrams deciphered to no avail.

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Wikipedia Entry (super detailed) View the complete Manuscript here

Syntax Sundays - Part One

I'm going to post a little bit of our book each Sunday, see if anyone likes it. And you better fucking like it.

Chapter I

Green Smoke

'Welcome to the fair city of Boldhome. Please choose a path: You may go North, South, East or West. To the East is the pawn shop; to the North is a path that winds its way through the town proper; to the South is a path exiting the city; to the West is the Thieves Guild. What is your next action my lord? (n, s, e, w)'

Geoff Hendricks saw his reflection in the computer monitor staring back at him. Dark hair hanging in his green eyes reflecting in the screen. His long lean frame arched over the keyboard, fingers ready and waiting for the next keystroke. Rings of smoke blown from his lips with precision float through the hot, dry air exploding and dissipating against the monitor. He could see beads of sweat reflecting, rolling down his cheek through the slightest sign of hair growth. For the first time ever, he may have to shave. What a dreary concept. Rubbing his chin and crushing his cigarette into the ashtray, he flicked his hair from his face, typing quickly with his right hand.

North.

'North it be sir! To your west is the news paper stand with all the best local news, to the east is the bank, and to the north is the path exiting our fair city, and of course the path to the south would bring you back, whence you came. Your choice lord? (n,s,e,w)'

West.

'West it be lord! If you like to buy a paper, the price is 5 gold pieces. Otherwise you may choose a path: To the nort...'

Before it could finish: Buy paper.

'We have your paper right here lord. Would you like to read it ? (y,n)'

Yes. But really, no.

Geoff didn't really have to think about what was to come next. Already disappointed in himself for such a foolish error, thanks mostly to his incompetent left hand that tended to miss keystrokes frequently. He had died, and wanted to see if anyone had shared his same misery within the game. At least in this, he would feel better.

'A wonderful young man bit the dust today, of level 11, and a Paladin no less! Syntax was utterly slaughtered by a pack of marauding wolves straying too far from the Castle of Ice. In other news, a boastful sprite of a thief named Griselda was poked through his gully whats in what we like to call a shish-ka-bob moment. In other news...'

Currently Reading 3 - Eon by Greg Bear

Having finished The Lost Star so quickly, i decided to get right into another book. I took vacation from work to spend some time at home with the wife and kid, and this book just flew by. Such a sharp contrast between the two books, Eon being the most adult, free thinking, man's novel, and The Lost Star being a coming of age Care Bear hug-fest, while using protection.

I wont name characters because there are so many, but ill run it down for you.

A huge asteroid shows up out of no where right outside of earth atmosphere. We send a bunch of astronauts to check it out and it turns out the asteroid is hollow and contains an abandoned city. A science team goes up to check things out, find a library, and discovers that the earth is going to die of nuclear winter in like month or so. Give or take.

You learn these vital details in first few chapters, and this is a 500+ page book, small typeface. (which reminds me, The Lost Star had a small typeface but the margins were fucked) people have sex, kill others, fight, meet alien species, travel to far away worlds, you name it, this book does not miss any of the elements.

I hearby declare this book officially the bomb. Amazon - Wiki

Currently Reading 2 - The Lost Star by H.M. Hoover

Yes that's the book i just finished reading.

I had read a few other books by H.M. Hoover, namly The Return to Earth and Shepard Moon. I liked them both, though i thought they were not "adult" enough for me. I don't really need to have an adult theme, but i like the thoughts and ideas and jokes of adults, so there we go.

Lian Webster goes off planet with her parents when she is 16 and gets friendly with a cute and cuddly race of centaur teddy bears that everyone passes off as dumb, and no one give a shit. While her parents are off digging up bones and relics of time past (They are archeologists) she discovers ancient computers and an intelligence ancient race of.. centaur bear things.

I liked this book, i really did. It was very easy to read and it was old classic science fiction, which I'm into. Fighting, romance, and maybe some action would have made this better for me.

I give it 4 our of 5 centaur Tee Shirts. Available here.

As long as I'm topless I can run as fast as a motorcycle!

This is the coolest thing I have seen today...and Yes, that is a chick weilding that ax!

Currently Reading 1 - Conan The Freebooter by Howard

I will not hide my love for Conan novels, even the L' Sprague de Camp knockoffs. He put his name all over them, used the basic gist for his books and pasted Robert E. Howard'a name of the front. For shame!

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I picked this book up about five years ago in a paperback exchange in Sarasota Florida. This is the first edition, and its the same one im reading now. The pictures came from google image search so i felt compelled to say that.

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It's a collection of short stories with a novella in the middle about him taking over an army, killing bastards that wield magic, and eat joints of beef whilst banging the common folk with his giant penis club. He also drinks wine occasionally.

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Wikipedia Entry